The north wind doth blow.....

Wow, what is up with the weather in the UK recently.  Saturday was really warm but Sunday and today has been really windy.  I even had to take a detour on the way home from work as a rather large tree had decided to come down in the middle of the road.

My Mum in Law saw the consultant on Friday, even though our GP had given us the wrong date - it should have been on Thursday (the day before!).  Basically she now has 2 weeks of tests/scans and will return to the hospital a week on Friday for the outcome.  The consultant did say that she hadn't seen anything like this before as it appears to be on the lung as opposed to inside the lung, So we are hoping that this is a good sign but we will see.

We had a lovely day at Thorpe Park on Saturday.  We left straight after breakfast, had a clear run and it only took about 40 mins to get there.  It wasn't too busy either.  The kids managed to go on around 12 rides as well as eat lunch and we were back home for 4pm!

I'm still not feeling 100%, boy this is really taking it's toll.  My boss is now off unwell at work, so whatever it is it, is really doing the rounds.  I am so looking forward to next week off.  We are planning to go to the van  for a few days but will be back home before the end of the week as Becky has lots of revision to do for her exams. 

I tell you one thing that I have noticed about this getting old malarkey - the list of medication on my monthly repeat prescription order form is now up to 8 items and 2 pages....I can remember when it was only for one thing! It seems that every year I'm adding at least one more item to the list.

Have a good week.

Sue x x x

Quick Update....

Thanks for the lovely comments on my last post.  I went back to work today - I'm feeling a bit better and as I sit down on my derriere for most of the day I knew I'd be OK.  After numerous phone calls to the doctor and much persistence we have managed to get my Mum in Laws appointment bought forward to tomorrow. 

The annoying thing is that she had an x-ray and scan in March as she was having problems swallowing.  She managed to get an urgent referral to the local private hospital (at no cost) and they assured her that everything was fine with her throat.  Then, last Saturday eve (2 months after scan) she got a call from the consultant to advise that after re-checking the prints that they had spotted a lump the size of a golf ball on one of her lungs and she needed to see her GP first thing Monday morning.  Apparently as initially they were only looking at her throat they didn't really take much notice of her lungs.... to say we are gob-smacked is an understatement.

I'm on training tomorrow in Stevenage, could really do without it but I have to show willing I guess.

Take care

Sue x x x

Lost the wind in my sails.......

I am sat here posting this blog, when I should be at work.  After a weekend of vomiting and a fever I took myself off to the docs this morning (8am appointment!!) to be told that I now have a chest infection.  So I'm dosed up with 500mg of anti b's and a weeks course of steroids.....I am not happy bunny.

I shouldn't feel guilty as I've only had 1 day off work sick in 3 years - but now I'm thinking that this is where I'm going wrong.  Last week I had a really bad throat infection and I should really have taken a couple of days off to rest and recover but no that's not like me.  I soldier on, popping every sort of pill along the way and then WHAM BAM Saturday morning it hits me and takes me out good and proper.  Perhaps I will learn for the future.

So the pills are making me feel yucky and I'm feeling very sorry for myself.  My only savior is Sky+ as I have loads of episodes of Murder She Wrote and Diagnosis Murder to watch.

But I'm not on my own as hubby has taken a couple of days off work .  He has a lot of time in lieu owing to him and he is also feeling a bit under the weather too as he is not sleeping too well, keeps having nightmares when he does and is very emotional.  He also visited the Docs this morning and has now been put on anti-depressants.  We had some bad news yesterday regarding his Mum.  It looks like her cancer may have returned but this time to her lungs.  We will know more a week Friday when she sees the consultant. We know that whatever happens is out of our control, and I keep telling him that she fought breast cancer and I'm sure she can fight this too.

The next few weeks are not going to be easy but we are a good strong family unit and I'm sure we will be able to ride whatever is thrown at us.

On the plus, Becky is going from strength to strength.  We know have around 10 roses and he is still very smitten  :-) but not a brick in sight!

Take care.

Sue x x x

A rose for a rose.....

The only drawback from working in a school is all the bloody illnesses that seem to constantly go around it!  This week I'm lucky enough to have picked up a throat infection from one of the little darlings - could have been worse it could have been a bad case of the trots that is also doing the rounds!

Becky has got an admirer.  I know this as over the last few nights there has been a red rose left on the doorstep for her.  The poor lad over the road is besotted with her.   Tomorrow we are hoping for chocolates as the flowers seem to have set off her hay fever.

Hubby is struggling with the whole idea of his little girl having relations with the opposite sex.  But he can see a plus to this relationship blossoming.  You see we need a new brick wall built at the front of the house.  The lad that has the hots for her is currently having a rather dashing wall erected by his Dad and Grandad (with ironwork too I tell you).  Hubby has asked her to drop hints to him  that if we happened to awake one morning to a nice new wall in the front garden he would be a very happy man.

Alex came home from school tonight very excited about the current topic he is learning.  He said that we need to find out as much as we can about the hymen.

Now, I asked him three times to repeat what he had just said to me, and he was sure it was the hymen that we needed to research further.......?

Now, I know they are having lessons on PSHE (personal, social and health education) but I feel that the school is going a bit too far on this one with 10 year olds but on the other hand nothing would surprise me nowadays.

So, when we got home I asked him if they had been talking about the hymen already at school, he said they had.  So I asked him what he had already learnt and he advised me - They are from the olden days, they ride on horses, have guns and say "Stand or deliver"

Ahhh, Highwayman.

I said...."Phew".

I was imagining the teachers face if I sent him in with a load of printouts from the computer.. I'm sure I'd have been greeted with a "Mrs Smith, the Headteacher would like to see you in his office ASAP"

Hope your week is going well!

Sue x x x

Sun is shining in the sky............

How lucky are we to have such good weather at the moment.  Usually a Bank Holiday = rain but not this year.  So far so good.

We spent the last week of the Easter holidays at our caravan and were in shorts for the whole week!.  We even had a visit to the local hospital for Alex (this doesn't normally happen until the summer ;-) as we thought he'd broken his big toe after tripping over - thankfully he hadn't but he hobbled around on a badly bruised foot for a few days.

So this long weekend we decided to take the children to Alton Towers.  We arranged it months ago and booked to stay over so we could spend 2 full days there.  We thought, rather stupidly, that it would not be too busy with the Royal Wedding.....how wrong were we.  It took us an hour and a half to do the last 5 miles, cars were bumper to bumper.  What we hadn't realised (Nor had the staff at AT) was that the newspapers had printed an offer in the week for a 2for1 offer - so it was packed on Friday.  Hubby (being the cheapskate that he is) booked the overnight accommodation at the cheapest place possible - £19 per night for a family room!!!!  Lets just say that it served it's purpose but next time we go I will be booking the hotel.  The bed was broken in the middle so it had a wicked roll together so I spent the whole night holding onto the edge of the bed.  Becky had the sofa bed and Alex had a pull out bed on the floor - he seems to have had the best nights sleep on it too!

Things are going really well with Becks.  No more incidents to report.  I took the advice of Fostermummy and now have her on high dose Primrose oils capsules...so fingers crossed.  Hubby has been giving her lots of time recently and it's nice to see that she's become a 'Daddy's Girl' again.  She was always his shadow when she was younger, so this is heartwarming to see.  It's funny but we've changed rolls a bit too.  I used to be the good cop and he the bad cop but we've swapped now.  Not deliberately but I decided that I was being to lenient with her and a tad to free and easy with treats so I've toughened up...he felt he was being too hard on her and is being a bit of a softie now! 

So back home home know and thinking about doing a bbq today, so a trip to the supermarket is on the cards me thinks.

Hope you are all keeping well.

Take care.

Sue x x x

In a holiday frame of mind...

Two weeks and one day off work.....how lucky am I.  Absolutely manic at work yesterday, I was even in at 7.45am to make sure all the children's certificates were finished in time for the 11am assembly.

So, what are we planning to do during this school holiday?  Well, the first week we are at home but will be spending the second week at the caravan.  Today I was up before 8am, the sun was shinning and our world seems a good place today.  It's amazing the difference a bit of sun makes isn't it.  Hubby is at work next week so I am going to catch up on chores around the house.  I plan to attack the garden this weekend with hopes for our first barbecue on Sunday.  Mr Weatherman says the good weather will be leaving us next week - shouldn't be surprised really should we as it is only April!

I plan to spend some quality time with Becky this holiday too.  We've had a few heart to hearts and she agrees that it's not right to harm herself and she promised me that she won't do it again - and even if she feels that she needs to (?) she will talk to me first.  I am not naive and I realise that this may not happen but she is fully aware that if it does happen again then I will have no choice but to take her to the doctors and speak to the school.  She's half admitted that she does it for the attention or when she feels wound up and frustrated.  I've told her that we've all been through this and that she needs to find some other way to channel these feelings.  I feel if we are all being open and truthful this can only help her to overcome this.

So, I am now going to pop to Homebase to have a mooch around as they have 20% off today and I feel like tarting up the front garden!

Have a lovely weekend.

Sue  x x x

The first cut is the deepest.....

Sorry I have not been around much recently.

Last Sunday was my birthday - a double bubble with it being Mothers day too!.  I had really been looking forward to it and we had planned a day out to Westfield Shopping Centre in London on Sunday.  Saturday night it all went tits up. 

Becky had been a pain most of the day as she was bored, winding up her brother, me and then starting on her Dad went he came in from work Saturday teatime.  My hubby has been having a stressful time at work over the last few weeks - It really is not a happy place at Royal Mail at the moment.  So he was pretty wound up when he came in from work and just wanted to relax.  So Becky constantly taking pictures of him with my camera was not helping him at all.  Flash, flash, flash. The next thing I knew he went upstairs to get away from her and me trying to punish her sent her to her bedroom to calm down.  There was an exchange of words between me and her and she stomped upstairs mouthing off to her Dad on the way.  He chased her up to her bedroom and removed her Ipod player as punishment.  He then came down the stairs back to our bedroom and she decided to throw a box of dominoes at the back of his head.  He saw red.  The shouting and the screaming from both parties made me and Alex run up to see what was happening.  By this time my hubby had taken his frustration out on the toilet door and had attempted to get in her room but she was sat firmly in front of the door crying her eyes out.

He was in a right state, she wouldn't open her bedroom door and by the time I managed to get into her room she had decided to inflict self harm on both her arms.

This just doesn't happen in my world, it was like a scene from a soap opera.

She had also tried to cut her wrists but thankfully the piece of wood was not sharpe enough.  What a mess.

We all sat down and talked, and cried and hugged and then laughed.

This is not the first time she cut her arms.  I caught her this evening looking at websites/forums of people that do it to themselves.

She knows it's a silly thing to do but at the time she says it helps her when she gets angry.  So since Saturday eve I have been walking on eggshells around her.  When we went out on Sunday she got bought lots of things.  I know this is probably not the right thing to do but Hubby felt so guilty that he reached for his wallet.

We are not an angry family, we do not fight with each other, I do not smack the children, Hubby and me don't row and he has never laid finger on me or the children.  So I am still in shock over the whole thing.  And very upset and embarrassed too.  I was only able to talk about it to my work colleagues today.

I know Becky is feeling under pressure from school as she is already sitting and has sat many of her GSCE modules and she really has been trying so hard and I think she too just needed to vent her frustration.

So what do I do next.  I don't want to make a big fuss about her harming herself but I am all the time checking on her when she goes to her bedroom.  Tonight she also asked me if it 's OK to continue cutting herself if she does not go too deep - that's OK isn't it Mum she asks.  I can't understand why she then has to walk around with her sleeves up so her wounds are on show.....I 'm guessing she likes the attention. She is still not eating in the day until she comes home from school.  I am not too worried about that as she does eat and eat when she gets home.  I know it's not right but at least she is eating.  I can't moan at her too much as I had an eating disorder when I was a little older then her...so who am I to tell her off.

Hubby has been beating himself up over the whole thing.  But she really can push the right buttons.  He blames himself as he feels that he is not giving her enough attention.  Because of work he is only home Saturday eve and Sunday but he plains to give the children more of his time then he has.

I sorry if I have waffled on a bit but I needed to get it of my chest and I'm hoping you all have broad shoulders.

I try to be a good parent but sometimes I fail.

Take care.

Sue x x x