Two weeks and one day off work.....how lucky am I. Absolutely manic at work yesterday, I was even in at 7.45am to make sure all the children's certificates were finished in time for the 11am assembly.
So, what are we planning to do during this school holiday? Well, the first week we are at home but will be spending the second week at the caravan. Today I was up before 8am, the sun was shinning and our world seems a good place today. It's amazing the difference a bit of sun makes isn't it. Hubby is at work next week so I am going to catch up on chores around the house. I plan to attack the garden this weekend with hopes for our first barbecue on Sunday. Mr Weatherman says the good weather will be leaving us next week - shouldn't be surprised really should we as it is only April!
I plan to spend some quality time with Becky this holiday too. We've had a few heart to hearts and she agrees that it's not right to harm herself and she promised me that she won't do it again - and even if she feels that she needs to (?) she will talk to me first. I am not naive and I realise that this may not happen but she is fully aware that if it does happen again then I will have no choice but to take her to the doctors and speak to the school. She's half admitted that she does it for the attention or when she feels wound up and frustrated. I've told her that we've all been through this and that she needs to find some other way to channel these feelings. I feel if we are all being open and truthful this can only help her to overcome this.
So, I am now going to pop to Homebase to have a mooch around as they have 20% off today and I feel like tarting up the front garden!
Have a lovely weekend.
Sue x x x
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
The first cut is the deepest.....
Sorry I have not been around much recently.
Last Sunday was my birthday - a double bubble with it being Mothers day too!. I had really been looking forward to it and we had planned a day out to Westfield Shopping Centre in London on Sunday. Saturday night it all went tits up.
Becky had been a pain most of the day as she was bored, winding up her brother, me and then starting on her Dad went he came in from work Saturday teatime. My hubby has been having a stressful time at work over the last few weeks - It really is not a happy place at Royal Mail at the moment. So he was pretty wound up when he came in from work and just wanted to relax. So Becky constantly taking pictures of him with my camera was not helping him at all. Flash, flash, flash. The next thing I knew he went upstairs to get away from her and me trying to punish her sent her to her bedroom to calm down. There was an exchange of words between me and her and she stomped upstairs mouthing off to her Dad on the way. He chased her up to her bedroom and removed her Ipod player as punishment. He then came down the stairs back to our bedroom and she decided to throw a box of dominoes at the back of his head. He saw red. The shouting and the screaming from both parties made me and Alex run up to see what was happening. By this time my hubby had taken his frustration out on the toilet door and had attempted to get in her room but she was sat firmly in front of the door crying her eyes out.
He was in a right state, she wouldn't open her bedroom door and by the time I managed to get into her room she had decided to inflict self harm on both her arms.
This just doesn't happen in my world, it was like a scene from a soap opera.
She had also tried to cut her wrists but thankfully the piece of wood was not sharpe enough. What a mess.
We all sat down and talked, and cried and hugged and then laughed.
This is not the first time she cut her arms. I caught her this evening looking at websites/forums of people that do it to themselves.
She knows it's a silly thing to do but at the time she says it helps her when she gets angry. So since Saturday eve I have been walking on eggshells around her. When we went out on Sunday she got bought lots of things. I know this is probably not the right thing to do but Hubby felt so guilty that he reached for his wallet.
We are not an angry family, we do not fight with each other, I do not smack the children, Hubby and me don't row and he has never laid finger on me or the children. So I am still in shock over the whole thing. And very upset and embarrassed too. I was only able to talk about it to my work colleagues today.
I know Becky is feeling under pressure from school as she is already sitting and has sat many of her GSCE modules and she really has been trying so hard and I think she too just needed to vent her frustration.
So what do I do next. I don't want to make a big fuss about her harming herself but I am all the time checking on her when she goes to her bedroom. Tonight she also asked me if it 's OK to continue cutting herself if she does not go too deep - that's OK isn't it Mum she asks. I can't understand why she then has to walk around with her sleeves up so her wounds are on show.....I 'm guessing she likes the attention. She is still not eating in the day until she comes home from school. I am not too worried about that as she does eat and eat when she gets home. I know it's not right but at least she is eating. I can't moan at her too much as I had an eating disorder when I was a little older then her...so who am I to tell her off.
Hubby has been beating himself up over the whole thing. But she really can push the right buttons. He blames himself as he feels that he is not giving her enough attention. Because of work he is only home Saturday eve and Sunday but he plains to give the children more of his time then he has.
I sorry if I have waffled on a bit but I needed to get it of my chest and I'm hoping you all have broad shoulders.
I try to be a good parent but sometimes I fail.
Take care.
Sue x x x
Last Sunday was my birthday - a double bubble with it being Mothers day too!. I had really been looking forward to it and we had planned a day out to Westfield Shopping Centre in London on Sunday. Saturday night it all went tits up.
Becky had been a pain most of the day as she was bored, winding up her brother, me and then starting on her Dad went he came in from work Saturday teatime. My hubby has been having a stressful time at work over the last few weeks - It really is not a happy place at Royal Mail at the moment. So he was pretty wound up when he came in from work and just wanted to relax. So Becky constantly taking pictures of him with my camera was not helping him at all. Flash, flash, flash. The next thing I knew he went upstairs to get away from her and me trying to punish her sent her to her bedroom to calm down. There was an exchange of words between me and her and she stomped upstairs mouthing off to her Dad on the way. He chased her up to her bedroom and removed her Ipod player as punishment. He then came down the stairs back to our bedroom and she decided to throw a box of dominoes at the back of his head. He saw red. The shouting and the screaming from both parties made me and Alex run up to see what was happening. By this time my hubby had taken his frustration out on the toilet door and had attempted to get in her room but she was sat firmly in front of the door crying her eyes out.
He was in a right state, she wouldn't open her bedroom door and by the time I managed to get into her room she had decided to inflict self harm on both her arms.
This just doesn't happen in my world, it was like a scene from a soap opera.
She had also tried to cut her wrists but thankfully the piece of wood was not sharpe enough. What a mess.
We all sat down and talked, and cried and hugged and then laughed.
This is not the first time she cut her arms. I caught her this evening looking at websites/forums of people that do it to themselves.
She knows it's a silly thing to do but at the time she says it helps her when she gets angry. So since Saturday eve I have been walking on eggshells around her. When we went out on Sunday she got bought lots of things. I know this is probably not the right thing to do but Hubby felt so guilty that he reached for his wallet.
We are not an angry family, we do not fight with each other, I do not smack the children, Hubby and me don't row and he has never laid finger on me or the children. So I am still in shock over the whole thing. And very upset and embarrassed too. I was only able to talk about it to my work colleagues today.
I know Becky is feeling under pressure from school as she is already sitting and has sat many of her GSCE modules and she really has been trying so hard and I think she too just needed to vent her frustration.
So what do I do next. I don't want to make a big fuss about her harming herself but I am all the time checking on her when she goes to her bedroom. Tonight she also asked me if it 's OK to continue cutting herself if she does not go too deep - that's OK isn't it Mum she asks. I can't understand why she then has to walk around with her sleeves up so her wounds are on show.....I 'm guessing she likes the attention. She is still not eating in the day until she comes home from school. I am not too worried about that as she does eat and eat when she gets home. I know it's not right but at least she is eating. I can't moan at her too much as I had an eating disorder when I was a little older then her...so who am I to tell her off.
Hubby has been beating himself up over the whole thing. But she really can push the right buttons. He blames himself as he feels that he is not giving her enough attention. Because of work he is only home Saturday eve and Sunday but he plains to give the children more of his time then he has.
I sorry if I have waffled on a bit but I needed to get it of my chest and I'm hoping you all have broad shoulders.
I try to be a good parent but sometimes I fail.
Take care.
Sue x x x
Sunday, 20 March 2011
You dirty rat.....
Over the last few weeks we've been blaming the squirrel's for eating up the bird seed and fat balls we've been putting on the bird table each day. Well, surprise surprise today we've found out it's not the squirrel's at all...it's a big fat rat!
Hubby has suggested getting an air rifle, I've managed to talk him out of it...just! I, know rats are pretty much everywhere nowadays but I really don't want them on my bird table thank you very much. We live fairly close to the railway tracks and I understand that it is quite common for them to live near the tracks.
Today I have purchased some proper bird seed feeders that will hopefully mean the rats will not be able to eat the food now and in time will leave our garden.
Stern words were had with the cat this morning, who is clearly not doing his job very well. He's 16 this year so I'm guessing his past all that rat-catching malarkey! Not surprising really as he spends most of the day asleep on my bed....lazy little git.
Weather has been lovely this weekend. Spring is in the air that's for sure. We loose an hour next weekend too as the clocks go forward, so we will have the lighter evenings to look forward too also.
We had our first jumble sale as work yesterday. It took weeks of arranging, collecting items, sorting through them and most of the morning laying it out before the doors opened at 2pm. Let's just say we won't be doing another in a hurry! Very poorly attended, even though we advertised it well. Now, what to do with all the stuff left over!!
Hubby hit me with a bombshell when he got home from work last night. He's given it alot of thought and decided that we could really save money if we got rid of one of the cars......MY CAR. He realised that it would mean making compromises but he's sure WE could manage it (WE!!!!!) It could save us nearly £1000 a year if we did. He'd sell his car as it's older then mine and then he'd use mine to get him to and from work. He would drop me at work each morning as it's 5 miles away and I would get the train home at the end of each day. Sounds easy doesn't it. But I would have an hour round trip walking to school to collect Alex each day after work, would not have the car for shopping in the week as he doesn't finish work till 10pm each day and wouldn't have it on Saturday either as he works most of them. He couldn't understand why I was a bit pee'd off by his suggestion and the fact that he'd given it so much thought - even found out the cost of the train fare AND the timetable.
I gave it some consideration and made a few suggestions myself.
If I was too loose the car then I would have to cut my hours back at work by 3 hours a week (12 a month), I would not be able to do any overtime as and when work needed me too. This would mean a big drop in my salary. Also, he would have too get up really early in the morning to take me in and he could no longer fall out of the bed at 8am. I also suggested that we could save more money if in fact he got a scooter/moped (like he had a few years back) as in all fairness he only uses the car to drive to and from his work place which is nearer to home then my work place. I said that at present I am spending around £150 a month on fuel but if I walked a couple of nights a week to school to collect Alex now the weather is getting better it would reduce this bill by around 15%.
He sat there, very quiet and starting rubbing his chin. The upshot of it is ......we are keeping both cars for the time being !!!! Bloody men.
Only 3 more weeks left of this term. Wow, doesn't time fly!
Hope you have a great week.
Sue x x x
Hubby has suggested getting an air rifle, I've managed to talk him out of it...just! I, know rats are pretty much everywhere nowadays but I really don't want them on my bird table thank you very much. We live fairly close to the railway tracks and I understand that it is quite common for them to live near the tracks.
Today I have purchased some proper bird seed feeders that will hopefully mean the rats will not be able to eat the food now and in time will leave our garden.
Stern words were had with the cat this morning, who is clearly not doing his job very well. He's 16 this year so I'm guessing his past all that rat-catching malarkey! Not surprising really as he spends most of the day asleep on my bed....lazy little git.
Weather has been lovely this weekend. Spring is in the air that's for sure. We loose an hour next weekend too as the clocks go forward, so we will have the lighter evenings to look forward too also.
We had our first jumble sale as work yesterday. It took weeks of arranging, collecting items, sorting through them and most of the morning laying it out before the doors opened at 2pm. Let's just say we won't be doing another in a hurry! Very poorly attended, even though we advertised it well. Now, what to do with all the stuff left over!!
Hubby hit me with a bombshell when he got home from work last night. He's given it alot of thought and decided that we could really save money if we got rid of one of the cars......MY CAR. He realised that it would mean making compromises but he's sure WE could manage it (WE!!!!!) It could save us nearly £1000 a year if we did. He'd sell his car as it's older then mine and then he'd use mine to get him to and from work. He would drop me at work each morning as it's 5 miles away and I would get the train home at the end of each day. Sounds easy doesn't it. But I would have an hour round trip walking to school to collect Alex each day after work, would not have the car for shopping in the week as he doesn't finish work till 10pm each day and wouldn't have it on Saturday either as he works most of them. He couldn't understand why I was a bit pee'd off by his suggestion and the fact that he'd given it so much thought - even found out the cost of the train fare AND the timetable.
I gave it some consideration and made a few suggestions myself.
If I was too loose the car then I would have to cut my hours back at work by 3 hours a week (12 a month), I would not be able to do any overtime as and when work needed me too. This would mean a big drop in my salary. Also, he would have too get up really early in the morning to take me in and he could no longer fall out of the bed at 8am. I also suggested that we could save more money if in fact he got a scooter/moped (like he had a few years back) as in all fairness he only uses the car to drive to and from his work place which is nearer to home then my work place. I said that at present I am spending around £150 a month on fuel but if I walked a couple of nights a week to school to collect Alex now the weather is getting better it would reduce this bill by around 15%.
He sat there, very quiet and starting rubbing his chin. The upshot of it is ......we are keeping both cars for the time being !!!! Bloody men.
Only 3 more weeks left of this term. Wow, doesn't time fly!
Hope you have a great week.
Sue x x x
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Too many questions...
Busy week so far at work and school this week. Alex's school has had a science fair this week and he had to do a project for it. We decided to do it on his favorite all time hobby...food, and how long before things go 'off' or become rotten and took pictures each day over a week so you could see how the food changed. I say his project but I really mean mine! It's hard enough to get him to school each day and do his homework, so as soon as he found out about this project he made it clear that he had no interest in taking part. It was tough going but we managed to do it - just about together...cost me few kit-kat's though.
So today he took it in to school and this afternoon it was presented to the whole school and parents. His friend who also wasn't too bothered in joining in, was quick to jump on Alex's band wagon and the project quickly became 'theirs'. You've got to give his friend 10 out of 10 for his quick thinking! I would have made a fuss but I like the lad and he's been through a tough time of late with his Mum and Step Dad splitting up so I let him have his moment of glory along with Alex.
My friend filled me in on Monday about the party last Friday. I nodded and said 'Oh good' as and when required. Have been a bit cool with her this week but not too offish. I shall will not be making as much effort as I have done in the past, and see how we go.
Seems as if some of the text has become hi-lighted....don't know why!
Hope your week is going well.
Sue x x x
Saturday, 5 March 2011
You got a friend in me.......
I hold grudges......there I've said it. I can't help it but I do. Some I've held on to for over 20 years. I guess that's just the way I'm made.
I've become quite close to one of the Mums at school. I've known her for over 5 years. We help each other out when needed with taking the kids to school and collecting them. My friend doesn't drive but I do, so I bring them home at night from school. I've been doing this now on and off for a couple of years and almost every night for the last year. Even if her hubby is home from work I would still bring them home. It means I am late to pick up my daughter from her school but It's ok she starts to walk home and we meet her half way.
Over the holidays I took my friend and our children out for the day to an indoor play centre. I even brought her lunch. I'm good like that. I'll always pick offers up for her from the supermarket if I know she uses them.
In the past they have even invited themselves to stay at our caravan with us for the odd weekend when we've been down there and have made noises about doing the same this year.
Now, you're probably thinking why am I telling you all this?
Well, her hubby is quiet a few years older then her and was offered the chance of early retirement. He thought long and hard and decided he would take his companies offer.
He finished work just before half term. A couple of weeks ago she decided to hold him a retirement party. She told me of the venue they had chosen and the date they had hoped to hold it. I spoke to my hubby to see if he could get the evening off work and pondered on ideas of what pressie to get him.
Then it all went quiet.
So last week I asked her if she had booked it. She said she had, she'd hired a small hall and was looking to do the food herself and was probably only going to do just some sandwiches. I was just about to offer my services as I'm a dab hand at this sort of thing - even did the spread for the do after we got married all by myself.
Then she said, they'd been looking at numbers and adding up the relatives and his friends she is not going to be able to invite us as the hall only holds 50 people. She hoped it would not be a problem and maybe we could get together in the summer and have a BBQ.
So, me being said yes, that's fine.
But actually it's not fine. I'm really disappointed by this. I thought we'd gotten quite close over the last couple of years but it seems as if I was wrong.
So much so, that I have even made the decision not to do a charity walk with her in the summer now. It was a 9 mile midnight walk in aid of a local hospice. They will not loose out as I will still sponsor her and my other friends who also do the walk.
I know I must sound all bitter and twisted but I am really feeling quite 'used' now.
I know a similar thing happened with her and another friend of hers who used to drive her everywhere and the relationship kind of cooled all of a sudden.
So, the party was last night. I'm sure they had a lovely time and am expecting a call/text soon from her to tell me all about it. I consider myself a loyal friend to my close friends and I would really give them the shirt of my back if they needed it. But I'm beginning to feel that it's all one sided now.
Have a lovely weekend.
Sue x x x
I've become quite close to one of the Mums at school. I've known her for over 5 years. We help each other out when needed with taking the kids to school and collecting them. My friend doesn't drive but I do, so I bring them home at night from school. I've been doing this now on and off for a couple of years and almost every night for the last year. Even if her hubby is home from work I would still bring them home. It means I am late to pick up my daughter from her school but It's ok she starts to walk home and we meet her half way.
Over the holidays I took my friend and our children out for the day to an indoor play centre. I even brought her lunch. I'm good like that. I'll always pick offers up for her from the supermarket if I know she uses them.
In the past they have even invited themselves to stay at our caravan with us for the odd weekend when we've been down there and have made noises about doing the same this year.
Now, you're probably thinking why am I telling you all this?
Well, her hubby is quiet a few years older then her and was offered the chance of early retirement. He thought long and hard and decided he would take his companies offer.
He finished work just before half term. A couple of weeks ago she decided to hold him a retirement party. She told me of the venue they had chosen and the date they had hoped to hold it. I spoke to my hubby to see if he could get the evening off work and pondered on ideas of what pressie to get him.
Then it all went quiet.
So last week I asked her if she had booked it. She said she had, she'd hired a small hall and was looking to do the food herself and was probably only going to do just some sandwiches. I was just about to offer my services as I'm a dab hand at this sort of thing - even did the spread for the do after we got married all by myself.
Then she said, they'd been looking at numbers and adding up the relatives and his friends she is not going to be able to invite us as the hall only holds 50 people. She hoped it would not be a problem and maybe we could get together in the summer and have a BBQ.
So, me being said yes, that's fine.
But actually it's not fine. I'm really disappointed by this. I thought we'd gotten quite close over the last couple of years but it seems as if I was wrong.
So much so, that I have even made the decision not to do a charity walk with her in the summer now. It was a 9 mile midnight walk in aid of a local hospice. They will not loose out as I will still sponsor her and my other friends who also do the walk.
I know I must sound all bitter and twisted but I am really feeling quite 'used' now.
I know a similar thing happened with her and another friend of hers who used to drive her everywhere and the relationship kind of cooled all of a sudden.
So, the party was last night. I'm sure they had a lovely time and am expecting a call/text soon from her to tell me all about it. I consider myself a loyal friend to my close friends and I would really give them the shirt of my back if they needed it. But I'm beginning to feel that it's all one sided now.
Have a lovely weekend.
Sue x x x
Thursday, 17 February 2011
One more sleep to go ...........
I hope you're week is going well. We break up tomorrow for a whole week and a day off school and work....yippee!
The little darling's pretty have much booked us to do something everyday next week, so by about next Wednesday I will probably be wishing I was back at work!
This is the last week of the school holidays I am able to spend at home as we open our caravan next month for another season and nearly all the school holidays are spent by the seaside - not a bad life really is it!
Enjoy your weekend and lets keep our fingers crossed for no snow next week here in sunny London.
Sue x x x
The little darling's pretty have much booked us to do something everyday next week, so by about next Wednesday I will probably be wishing I was back at work!
This is the last week of the school holidays I am able to spend at home as we open our caravan next month for another season and nearly all the school holidays are spent by the seaside - not a bad life really is it!
Enjoy your weekend and lets keep our fingers crossed for no snow next week here in sunny London.
Sue x x x
Monday, 14 February 2011
Dusting off the soapbox....
Now that the niceties are out of the way, I need to have a moan....BIG TIME.
As most of you know, I work in a school office with my 3 colleagues. All of us are first aid trained for emergency first aid in a school. Very basic stuff really, banged heads, cut fingers and nose bleeds...stuff like that really. We don't actually have a 'Welfare lady' as such but we all cover the medical room. Over the last few weeks we have had a nasty tummy bug go round the school - mostly sickness. Last week one of our Y5 children came to us complaining of tummy pains and looked a bit pale. He couldn't eat his lunch and felt clammy but didn't have a temperature. He's not a usual visitor to the medical room, so we called Mum to come and collect him. She came and reluctantly took him home. He was back into school next day and again came to the medical room that afternoon, this time doubled over in pain and crying. Again, we contacted Mum, who was not to impressed as she was at Tesco's shopping and had to arrange for the child's Grandad to collect him.
On Friday morning she came to the school office with her child in tow. She told me that she was not impressed that he's been sent home twice this week and had taken him to the Doctors who confirmed that there was nothing wrong with him. She also advised that she was going to keep him off school today as although he is perfectly well, it is a waste of time sending him in as WE KEEP SENDING HIM HOME.
Now, I explained that he had been clearly in discomfort earlier in the week but if she says there is nothing wrong with him then we will not send him home. This mother is also a supply teacher (not at our school). So, you'd think she'd know better. The teacher kept sending her son to us, what are we supposed to do? She then had the audacity to slag us off in the playground saying the school should have a proper Welfare lady or nurse as we don't know what we are doing! The cheek of it.
She is the sort of parent that if we didn't contact her when her little darlings were unwell - she'd still have a moan.
I know I shouldn't take it to heart but I can't help it. I am so annoyed with her that I feel like challenging in the playground in the morning...although I know it would not be the right thing to do BUT I would feel a lot better!
Hazards of the job my boss says.
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhh.
Have a good week.
Sue x x x
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