Nigella, I most certainly am not....

My Mum was a brilliant cook.  We had fresh homemade food - made from scratch everyday.  Apple pie, steak and kidney pudding, rabbit casserole, rice pudding to name but a few dishes.  I was keen to learn and would try and copy her when I was young.  But along came the '80's and with it the microwave and all of it's convenience foods.

Now, why bother to waste your time in the kitchen preparing dinner when all you have to do is pierce a couple of holes in the plastic lid and pop it in the microwave for the few minutes and.......voila! You have a tasty, ready meal for one.  Or do you?

No you don't.  And that's half the problem.  It's so easy to buy ready meals now days.  Time is short in many households and you know what it's like the kids want their dinner as soon as you walk through the door after school.

So I'm really trying to eat better, not just me the whole family but it's not easy when cooking is not really your forte is it.

So last week, I thought I'd try and make some Cornish Pasties.  I followed the recipe to the word but as I have not made pastry for nearly 28 years (since school) I flopped.  No, I flopped BIG TIME.  If we had a dog I wouldn't even have given them to him to eat.  They were awful.  Hard as nails.  Like biscuit coated mince and veg.  YUK.  So in the bin they went.....with a loud thud as they dropped to the bottom of it!

I'm now having flashes of Ria from 'Butterflies' keep coming in my mind as she was one terrible cook!

So tonight, I thought I'd get the scales and apron out again and have ago at making a Dorset Apple Bake.  Now, I was feeling a bit cocky and thought I'd add some extra ingredients - even though the recipe didn't call for it.   Why oh why did I do that?  Yes, it's edible but it would have been better without the cineman.  Then, as it was cooking, I thought I'd 'knock up' an easy cheese flan.  EASY - well that's what the recipe said (Oh, and it was from a school website for Yr 9 children, so how hard could it be??)  Well, let's just say the finished article is edible...just about.  Could have done with more cheese in it....a lot more cheese actually.

So, I'm not too dis-heartened and I will try and improve - 'cos as they say "Practice Makes Perfect" don't they.  And none of it will be wasted as I shall take it to work tomorrow and 'cos they love me they are sure to eat it.....I find the threat of a Chinese burn can work wonders too.

Have a good week.

Sue x x x

I smell something fishy.....

Firstly, I would like to say a big 'Thank you' to you all - my friends, for the lovely comments you have left on my last post.

When I re-read it back it makes me sound a little bit selfish.  I love my family very much and I don't want to rush my children in to growing up I promise.  But sometimes you get in a rut and it's then that you start to re-evaluate you life and then realise just what you do have and that you should really be very thankful indeed!

I will try to take on board some of your suggestions.  It's difficult as I can't go out in the week as hubby works till late and Becky is not really responsible enough to look after Alex on her own....yet.  The weekends seem to be taken up with chores and as Sunday is hubby's only day off we tend not to plan too much.  But I'm sure my life is no different to many other working Mum's out there.

I've not been too well this week as my asthma has been playing up - nothing too serious but I have been struggling to get my breathe at times.  So after a visit to the docs today I have been put on a course of steroids and hopefully this will help alleviate the problem.  My under-active thyroid is also being naughty, my last blood test showed it was boarder-line and I have to have another test next month and may possibly have to up my dose of medication. 

My son too has been struggling with his asthma but after a 25 minute debate with the doc on Monday he has put him on different medication and I am pleased to say he has been transformed by it.  He can now run around at play at break/lunch time and sleep through the night with out having to use his blue reliever inhaler....yay!

Can't be bothered to cook tea tonight, so it's fish and chips all round...yummy, yummy.

Boy, is this week going fast but I'm not complaining!

Take care.


Sue x x x

Taken a wrong turn.........

I think I've lost my way in life some how.  It's not happened over night, it's been a gradual thing over many years.  I used to be I/Me.  That seems to have gone - somehow.  I, like most Mums, have spent the last 15 years of my life living through my children and my husband to an extent too and I think that I've kind of got a bit lost.

Before the children I had a good job and was the man bread winner for the household.  I loved  my job.  I had a great social life through the job too.  I had Becky in '96 and returned to work when she was 6 months old.  Then, whilst I was on maternity leave in 2001 with Alex, the company I worked for for 14 years decided to re-locate and I wasn't prepared to do the daily commute of one and a hours each way to the new premises - especially with 2 small children.  So I took redundancy and found a super part time job in the NHS working in a local community clinic supporting a team of health visitors.  A lot less money but we managed - somehow. Child care initially wasn't a problem as my hubby worked shift and when I was working my Mum and Mum in law looked after Alex as Becky was at School.  In 2002 my hubby became a manager at work - more money but more responsibilities and means he works lates (not home till 10.30pm Mon- Fri and some Saturday days)

In 2004 my Mum passed away and my Mother in law became ill with cancer.  Work was very accommodating and allowed me to shuffle my hours around my childcare.  By the end of 2006 I started to get bored.  The job became too easy for me and there was no room for career progression.  In 2007 I found my current job - working as a school secretary. It's great as I work term time so get all the school holidays off.  I start work after I've dropped my kids off at school and finish work in time to collect them at the end of the day.  Unfortunately, I had to take a cut in salary again even though I'm doing more hours as I don't get paid for the school holidays.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my job.  But something is missing, I feel like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle.......I've lost a piece!

I guess many working Mums feel the same.  I haven't been out with friends for years, and can count on one hand how many times I've been out with hubby in the last 10 years.   I've lost many of my old friends too, as once you have kids yours life goes in a different direction. I've made new friends over the years - but no real true friends.

So all my days are pretty much the same - day in day out.

So I wonder, is this it now?  Does it change again as the children get older?

Like I say, I've lost my way a little.

Sue x x x

Boo - hoo

I really dislike this month.  I always feel down in January, I tried so hard not to let it get to me but this year it's hit me hard.

Really feeling down in the dumps.  Seems so much is going on in my world, some good, some bad.  Could so easily lock myself in a dark room and stay there until the Spring.

So sorry for the lack of posts.

Just need to find something good to focus on.  Meant to start diet/exercise regime this month but so far nothing has been achieved.  I feel totally useless as a mother, wife and a friend.

Hoping to feel a bit perkier and more positive soon.

Take care

Sue x x x

In the blink of an eye.....

Well, there it was - Christmas 2010.  Didn't it go quick!

We had a lovely quiet Christmas this year.  The children even stayed in their PJ's for the day - what a bad mother I am!  My son turned 10 on Boxing day also.

We hit the sales on Boxing day but to be honest there was not a lot of bargains to be had in store,  most bargains were on line this year.  Large orders have been placed with the Body Shop, Boots and also a few bits from M&S.  This means that I have covered many birthdays next year for a fraction of the price.

I'm not really one to make new year resolutions (mainly 'cos I can't seem to keep them :-) but I do intend to eat more healthily and do more exercise - I have a new shiny exercise bike waiting for me to use too.

I hope you are all keeping well and enjoyed Christmas.

Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy 2011

Sue x x x

Yep, Labradors can loose it too....

We all have nick-names in our office.  Each of us in named after a breed of dog.  I'm a Labrador - playful, fun loving, all heart - soft as s**t.  My colleagues are a Poodle and a Pit-bull.  We are very similar in temperament to the breed of dog we are likened too.  Our line manager is a Mongrel - stand still too long and he'd be on your leg!

Today, I lost it though.  I lost it big time with a customer services assistant on the telephone.  I'd been holding on for nearly 25 min's to speak to his department.  I ordered an item in good faith from his company at the price advertised on the Internet but when it arrived it came in at a higher pre-sale price.  I tried to sort the problem out yesterday, again holding on for 25 minutes but was told to call back again today, this I did.  I was not willing to pay the higher price and had proof that it was at a lower price when I ordered it but he was having none of it and to be frank, nor was I. He implied that I was lying. That was it, I told him exactly what he could do with his order and asked him to arrange collection.

Isn't it funny how all of a sudden the mood can change and he was suddenly able to honour the reduced price.  He blamed the computer, I blamed his company.

It has not been the best start to the day today.  Sainsburys came with my grocery order.  I had ordered a turkey crown big enough to feed 6-7 people, they had run out of stock and sent a crown to feed 3 - 5 people instead.  It was so small that I thought the delivery guy was having a joke with me at first ! My brussel sprouts were out of date and looking very sorry for themselves too.  So I had to brave Tesco's - not the best place to be 3 days before Christmas.  It was manic.

As a pre Christmas treat for the little darlings we are off to the pantomime this evening to see Aladdin.

Hope your week is going well.

Sue x x x

Holidays are coming.........

I'm still here, just about. It's  been a very busy time at work, with me staying up to home time most days and then rushing off to collect my children and not getting home till well after 4pm each day after leaving the house around 8.15am makes it a long day for me.  I don't have a lunch break either so it's full on at work.  I'm not ashamed to say that most evenings I have a little nap after I've fed the kids to re-charge my batteries.  I'm not handling this cold weather to well either, I feel cold at the best of times so this is a real challenge for me.  It's been stressful at home too as hubby has been working double shifts since the end of November and only having Sundays off too means he is not around in the mornings to help out and not getting home till 10.30pm each day....so I'm feeling a bit like a single parent at the moment.

Christmas is creeping up on us fast isn't it?  We are just about ready for it in the 'Smiff' household and very much looking forward to breaking up from school and work next Friday.

Again, it looks like it is just going to us for Christmas & Boxing Day lunch as the in-laws can't be arsed have made other plans and my Dad has decided to stay home alone again this year.  He says that although he really enjoys spending the time with us it breaks his heart having to go home to an empty house afterwards - it's been 6 years since my Mum passed away.  I would love him to come to us but if that is what he wants to do then I'm not going to force him. We will probably pop round and see him on Boxing Day.

I can't believe that my baby boy is going to be 10 years old on Boxing Day - double digits! 

I've really enjoyed reading all the posts on your blogs, I'm sorry that mine has been so quiet recently.

I'm due to have another blood test in the next week or so, and I wouldn't be surprised if my thyroid is playing up again as how I feel at the moment is if I could hibernate I really would.  I could sleep for England.

Hope you are all keeping well.  Have a lovely weekend.

Sue x x x